Frustrated pastors berating church members is something that at least a few readers may have experienced. Members may be scolded anonymously in weekly sermons, directly, publicly, or privately for not attending all church services, for failing to attend church functions, for not being fully involved in church ministries, or for not coming whenever the church doors are open (yes, that is a thing).
What these same pastors may not realize is that some members are just too tired to attend all church services. They may be making a choice to rest instead of attending every church function; they may have work or study commitments and unable to be fully involved in church ministries, or simply be too exhausted to attend every time the doors of the church building are open.
It is not an uncommon occurrence. But church members could be reluctant to respond to the pastor because, “hey, he is the pastor.” And maybe, they think, “I deserved it.” But the truth is, there are some pastors out there to whom we can say: Dear pastor, please be nice.
The following points are addressed from one pastor to another. They are simple reminders that pastors can forget their blessings and that we should follow Christ’s example of gentleness with the flock of God.
Do Not Forget Your Blessings
Dear pastor, please do not forget your blessings. If you are a full-time paid minister, your vocation is one totally devoted to the ministry, to spiritual matters. For many believers, that is a wonderful privilege.
You have the blessing of being cared for while leading the church. But not all members have such circumstances. They do not receive payment or privilege for exercising themselves in the things of the Lord. These are things they can only do when they are able to, have the time to do, or have the energy to do, as the Lord opens doors. They must work in their own vocations to provide for their families or personal needs, which can be physically and mentally taxing.
They have graduations to be at, family gatherings, holidays, business meetings, school activities, classes to attend, and any number of activities weighing on them.
Of course, they would like to be in church. What Spirit-filled believer would not? Yes, they need to be in church, but they may be unable to. Could they be putting mammon before church meetings? That is what thoughtful biblical counseling may reveal.
But berating them publicly (or even privately) indicates that you may have forgotten your blessings. It may also reveal that you may have lost touch with the very people you were called to minister to.
Be Gentle
Dear pastor, it can be difficult sometimes to keep in mind that your role is to feed the flock of God under your charge (John 21:17, 1 Peter 5:2); feed them with the word of God (Jeremiah 3:15), not verbally beat them. Sure, there are times when members need to be rebuked, reproved, or even disciplined. That goes without saying. But in routine situations presented above, maybe aggression is not the best approach.
You may be forgetting that people ought not attend church, church functions, or church ministries because they are pressured to but because they desire to or are led to. God’s way is to gently lead, in love, using His word to transform minds and attitudes—and it should be a pastor’s way too.
The Lord teaches us in His word that shepherds are to be gentle with the flock (Isaiah 40:11). And in fulfilling your role as the Lord's under-shepherd, not overbearing, hard, or selfish (Ezekiel 34:1-6).
The members of your church are out in the world most of the days, weeks, and months, working, living, breathing, moving, and enduring while you remain within the confines of the sanctuary, where you can spend time focusing on spiritual matters.
Do not lose touch with the fact that members sometimes struggle to be in church on Sundays or on Wednesday evenings because they are just simply exhausted. If you are a bi-vocational pastor, you should absolutely know what it is like.
You may want to show compassion (Mark 6:34) rather than frustration. Of course, you desire to see members in church. It is good for them. However, part of being a shepherd is being gentle instead of condemning and disdaining possibly weaker brethren.
Final Thoughts
This is not meant as an attack on pastors. Indeed, it is meant as a gentle reminder that not every member in the church is able or capable of attending all events, participating in all meetings, and the like. Therefore, let us be nice.
END
Author: Jerry S., Pastor, OLBC
Author Bio: Jerry is a bi-vocational missionary pastor-teacher and practical theology advocate in the Philippines, with a wide range of experience and education ranging from bachelor to doctorate degrees in various fields, who writes articles, blogs, devotions, e-books, academic papers, and more.
Photo by Mitchell Leach on Unsplash
